Letting go
by BakApple
Summary: Just a random one-shot I planned on writing since a long time but only succeeded in doing so recently. Based on the cutscene/mission "Remember". Warning: attempt to call your feels deep down from your heart. All reviews are welcomed! (why isnt' Nicky in the character tags?)


_~ Letting go... ~_

Thunder roared as rain fell on this gloomy day.

Kneeling, Nicky opened the black umbrella she came with. She turned the dark handle in her hands, and sadly looked at the stone in front of which she had stopped.

She didn't want to see the letters carved in the grayish, cold tomb. She knew them so well...

" _Lena Pearce_ "

She saw that the white teddy bear she never left behind her fell down from its sitting position. She used to take him with her all the time, even on _that day_ he was with her...

Footsteps came to her ears. She turned her head towards the one who was approaching her.

Aiden had that sad look on his face; he tried to smile to her, hoping that would give her strength. His arms swung in a rather uncertain and uncomfortable way. He reached out for her shoulder, on which he softly put his hand. Without saying a word, he knelt by her side.

She didn't wait much; she had to feel his hand so she wouldn't lose herself. Her eyes still staring at her daughter's tombstone, her hand looked for his, which embraced hers. The warmth of his palm made her feel a little better...

"Do you know who keeps leaving the flowers?" Her gaze had been caught by the three roses slowly fading on the top of her grave.

Thunder roared, again.

"No." His voice faded in a whisper. "But that girl has a lot of friends."

"Had." She corrected.

The silence was heavy; the only thing he could do was nodding to her saying.

She breathed in. She had to say it.

She turned her face towards him, trying to dive into his dark and tired eyes he focused on the tomb.

"This is about letting go."

He nodded again ― but he didn't look back into her eyes.

"I know."

She knew he felt as much pain as she did, but they had to talk about it, so they would all grieve and be at peace...

"We've all suffered a horrible nightmare but..." As she spoke to him lightning struck through the cloudy sky, enlightening it for a fleeting moment. "... you have to stop trying to fix it."

"I'm not trying to fix it." His voice trembled a little as he tried to hide himself behind the wall he had built himself against the world.

"Aiden," she reproached, "I know what you're doing."

She didn't want to say this, yet these words had to come out.

"I know you're chasing after the people who did this. And you do that, you put us all in danger again."

"You are not in danger because I protect you." He almost cut her off; all his determination could be felt in his only voice, as if he was deeply convinced that he could take care of both of Jackson and her no matter what could happen.

She left out a sigh of irritation and despair. Could he just once listen to her and try to understand her point of view?

"Do you hear yourself?"

How could he be so blind about _himself_?

"Aiden, _why can't you stop_?"

"Because―"

He blinked several times in a row, trying to hold back his tears. He hesitated. He _had_ to tell her. She was related to this after all. And it was because of him.

He calmed down. He took a deep breath, the smell of rain falling and melting with dirt made him somehow sick.

"I _need_ to know!"

Silence ― his old friend ― came back and settled down between them.

She shook her head, right to left, still fixing him with her look; she thought of the right words to say to appease him, yet she wanted to reason with him as well.

"You are my brother and I love you. But Jackson is my world. And I will keep you away in a second before I let him get hurt."

In a slight movement, she got closer to him. Some raindrops fell loudly off the umbrella. The sound it made was nothing compared to the thick rain surrounding them.

"Promise me you will stop." She hoped so much he would do so. "You can't save Lena."

Four words, that struck him as they forced him to remember the bitter truth he never wanted to accept.

He opened his eyes, and stared at the grayish tombstone, darkened by the rain that seemed to never stop falling.

"I killed her." His voice broke as he spoke in a weak, saddened tone.

He felt― no, he _was_ responsible for this. He was the one who put her in danger. He was the one driving that car. He was the one targeted by the attack. And she was the one who died.

She shook her head, she couldn't believe that he felt that way, since that day. What could have been said to be an accident had taken Lena's life, and she knew he would never forgive himself for letting this happen.

"No, you didn't." Did she say that only to comfort him? Of course, _he did kill her_!

He turned his face towards her. She couldn't afford to look at him. He was so devastated by his guilt.

"I don't blame you."

She held back her tears. She had promise herself she wouldn't give in and cry.

"But promise me you will stop."

Aiden's eyes wandered in hers, seeking for an answer. Then he looked back, to that grave. It always came back to Lena.

"We need this."

If he hadn't mess that up, she wouldn't have been killed, and there would have been no tombstone with her name on it, and they wouldn't have been there having this talk…

"As a family…"

He nodded, though his heart wasn't set on doing so. For a second she could have seen a tiny smile, that gave her hope.

He softly pat her on her shoulder. It somehow appeased her.

And so he said it. The first lie she had to believe for him.

" _I promise_."

* * *

 **A/N: This came to my mind nearly one year ago, when I played to** _ **WATCH_DOGS**_ **for the first time. This cutscene grabbed my heart and smashed it into the ground. I wasn't prepared for this Q_Q I guess I'm just too weak to take all of these feels.**

 **Anyway, I only started writing this a month ago, to finish it this evening. I hope there won't be much mistakes, I used Word's autocorrect, plus an online corrector, plus a friend fluent in English read it after I finished. So I guess that will be okay.**

 **I hope you liked this! Thanks for reading! :D**


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